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Breaking Free from Unhealthy Thinking in 4 Steps
Mar 25, 2023
Eliminate the Control Negative Thoughts Have Over Your Life?
Have you ever wondered how you can want something so bad in your life, but seemingly invisible forces prevent you from taking the action needed to achieve your goals?
What is that mysterious force?
How did it get there?
And more important, how the hell do we rid ourselves of these controlling and invasive influences.
These intrusive forces, in coaching-speak, are called "Limiting Beliefs" They keep us from feeling joy and achieving what we want to achieve in our lives.
But the good news is - you can work to release the hold these adversarial thoughts have over your life.
Below is an excerpt from my book
"The Nature of Transformation"
about limiting beliefs. (Check out the links and make sure you get your own copy). And keep on reading for
The 4 Steps to Begin to Break Free from Your Negative Thought Patterns.
"Our experiences and circumstances form the framework of who we have become. It has become our landscape. Etched in our minds are the views and beliefs we developed because of these experiences. Our beliefs hold the assumptions we’ve made about ourselves and our life. We created an understanding of how life is, how people act, and what we expect from the world. In some cases, these assumptions have been passed down through generations. Our current reality has been distorted by our past experiences. This is not our original programming. We are created for joy. Our blueprint at birth is designed for love and happiness.
It can feel like we are trapped by our circumstances and unable to make a move. It feels as if we have barbed wire wrapped around our arms, our legs, and our hearts. We’ve been trapped for so long that we stopped asking ourselves how we got here.
The barbed wire is the limiting beliefs we hold onto—about ourselves, about others, and about life. Now that you’ve explored some of the most significant experiences that shaped your life, beliefs, and behaviors, it’s time to explore the remnants of those experiences. It is time to ask yourself, “How are those experiences still showing up in my life today?”
Memories of past experiences and our feelings about them keep us trapped and keep us small. They lead to the thoughts that we are less-than, unworthy, unlovable, not smart, too thin, too fat, not enough, or too much. It’s not good to stay stuck in our wounds. We don’t want to earn a Ph.D. in the field of our own (or anyone else’s) woundology, but we also can’t deny the wounds exist or the effects they have on our interactions with the world today."
Here are the 4 Steps to Begin to Break Free from Your Negative Thought Patterns
My approach to personal development may be a little different than what you see out in the world. I believe - NO! I KNOW - that the only way to overcome your challenges it to face them head on and do the work needed to get past them. I won't tell you to simply think positive thoughts and make you feel bad if you can't flip the switch. Although positive thinking is definitely a piece of the overall wellness strategy, it's hard to feel good when bad thoughts are preventing the good ones from growing roots. I'm reminded of a yoga teacher who would gently state when moving into a new position, "if this position is available to you". Sometimes, we've been feeling bad for so long, the good thoughts are not yet available to us. We need to start with the 4 steps above to be able to invite the good feelings in. Get my book today: The Nature of Transformation. A comprehensive life coaching system inspired by nature to heal your mind, body, and spirit.
The barbed wire is the limiting beliefs we hold onto—about ourselves, about others, and about life. Now that you’ve explored some of the most significant experiences that shaped your life, beliefs, and behaviors, it’s time to explore the remnants of those experiences. It is time to ask yourself, “How are those experiences still showing up in my life today?”
Memories of past experiences and our feelings about them keep us trapped and keep us small. They lead to the thoughts that we are less-than, unworthy, unlovable, not smart, too thin, too fat, not enough, or too much. It’s not good to stay stuck in our wounds. We don’t want to earn a Ph.D. in the field of our own (or anyone else’s) woundology, but we also can’t deny the wounds exist or the effects they have on our interactions with the world today."
Here are the 4 Steps to Begin to Break Free from Your Negative Thought Patterns
- Offer yourself forgiveness, understanding, and grace. You're not alone. Everyone has negative thought patterns, often formed due to childhood experiences. They were created to keep you safe. Forgive yourself if they've stopped you from making decisions or taking action in your past that were for your highest good. Give yourself grace because I know how scary it can be to begin the process to break free from the thoughts and beliefs you've held for so long.
- Celebrate the times when you overcame them. We often forget how much we've already achieved and the challenges we've overcome EVEN when feeling an incredible amount of self-doubt and fear. I know there have been times that you faced the fear and busted through that barrier. Reflect on these times. Identify the tenacity and survival instincts that allowed you to keep going through adversity. The strength was in you then just as the strength still resides within you.
- Practice Daily Awareness. It's hard to overcome something that we are not completely aware of. Our limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns are insidious and will remain with us if they go unchecked. Incorporate mindfulness activities in your daily routine. My favorite way to start the day is with my daily meditation practice. Meditation allows you to practice awareness of your thoughts for a concentrated period of time. The added benefit is that you become practiced at recognizing your thought patterns throughout your day.
- Challenge the Thoughts. Now that you have greater awareness of your thoughts, it's time to challenge the validity of them. Beginning on page 67 of The Nature of Transformation, I pose a series of 22 questions that allows you to begin the process of understanding and eradicating disempowering thoughts. These questions allow you to start to visualize what you would be able to achieve and the good feelings you can have without these thoughts controlling your existence.
My approach to personal development may be a little different than what you see out in the world. I believe - NO! I KNOW - that the only way to overcome your challenges it to face them head on and do the work needed to get past them. I won't tell you to simply think positive thoughts and make you feel bad if you can't flip the switch. Although positive thinking is definitely a piece of the overall wellness strategy, it's hard to feel good when bad thoughts are preventing the good ones from growing roots. I'm reminded of a yoga teacher who would gently state when moving into a new position, "if this position is available to you". Sometimes, we've been feeling bad for so long, the good thoughts are not yet available to us. We need to start with the 4 steps above to be able to invite the good feelings in. Get my book today: The Nature of Transformation. A comprehensive life coaching system inspired by nature to heal your mind, body, and spirit.
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- Forward this blog post to a friend who you think will enjoy and benefit from this information.
- And if you're ready to do the work, I'm ready to help you. Schedule your free 30-minute introductory session
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